It’s coming soon, you know it is. One of these days zombies will attack and take over the world. The best thing is to start preparing for it ASAP and I can think of no better way than to do CrossFit. So I have decided to list the ways in which CrossFit can save your strong but speedy CrossFit butt from the bite of that zombified jerk of a neighbor.
1. All the 400m and 800m sprints we do make you much faster than the other guy. And lets face it all you have to do is out run the slowest person for 800m and your home free. Sorry guy should have trained at CrossFit Latham.
2. Doing 50 plus pullups a day is really going to come in handy when you have to climb a tree or a building to avoid those zombie dogs (of course there will be zombie dogs!)
3. Swinging those kettlebells around has given me the strength to wield a baseball bat and golf club like it was Thor’s hammer! Watch out zombie your pus filled head is mine!
4. Flipping that giant tire over wasn’t just for fun, I leaned how to crush 4 zombies all at once. Winning!
5. Ewww that zombie’s brains are showing and I just vomited, thank goodness I can puke and rally because I am a CrossFitter and I have done it before.
6. Ball slams seemed silly, well until I was standing on top of this building with a bowling ball aiming at a zombie below.
7. That’s right I saved your weak behind. Because I can squat more than my weight I was able to pick you up and carry you to safety. (ok that one doesn’t really save me but it can get pretty lonely in a zombie apocalypse)
8. Thanks to learning to Clean a crap load of weight, I know what it’s like when something heavy slams on my shoulders, so learning to use that 12 gauge shotgun was a breeze…What kick? I didn’t feel a thing.
9. I told you twinkies and ho-ho’s were not performance food, now your overweight butt is zombie chow, thank goodness I have been eating paleo thanks to CrossFit Latham.
10. And last but certainly not least, after dodging all the zombies I ran all the way to the Box and met up with the rest of the CrossFitters and together we kicked some serious zombie tail and saved the planet, because that is what a community like ours does, stick together and save the planet!
See original here: http://www.crossfitcorvallis.com/blog/2011/11/9/how-crossfit-will-save-me-during-the-zombie-apocalypse.html
Thanks CrossFit Corvallis!